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Cooking Humor and Sayings
Posted by: admin, July 26 2011 - 0 comments

Annoying the cook will result in smaller portions 
-Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. (Robert Byrne) 
-Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. 
-Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner". 
-A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life. 
-A Clean oven will cause a pie to run over. 
-Complaints to the Cook...can be hazardous to your health ! 
-Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and went on to live perfectly normal lives. 
-Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off. 
-Good apple pies are a considerable part of our happiness. (Jane Austen) 
-A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness. (Elsa Schiaparelli) 
-Got more time for misbehavin'
since I started microwaving! 
-Grateful we are for compliments given,
more grateful we'd be, for help in the kitchen. 
-Husband: "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"
Wife: "Turn sideways and look in the mirror." 
-I came...I saw...I decided to order take out 
-I cook with wine...Sometimes I even put it in the food! 
-I could keep this kitchen clean if you people would just stop eating here! 
-I don't cook on days that end in Y. 
-I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. (Katherine Cebrian) 
-I hate four letter words...Like Cook, Bake, Dust, and Wash 
-I like hugs and I like kisses
But what I REALLY love is help with the DISHES! 
-I only have a kitchen because it came with the house. 
-I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.
-I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." 
-I made my favorite thing for dinner...a reservation 
-If God meant for me to cook, why did he invent restaurants? 
-If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it probably needs a little more time in the microwave. (Lori Dowdy) 
-If the shelves are dusty,and the pots don't shine,
it's because I have better things to do with my time. 

-If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen! 
If you don't like my cooking, lower your standards. 
If you want breakfast in bed...sleep in the kitchen 
If yer lookin' for home cookin'...Go home! 

-Kiss the cook and then take her out to dinner. 
-Keep this kitchen clean. Eat out! 
-Kitchen closed due to illness: I am sick of cooking 
-The kitchen is the heart of the home. 
-The last time I cooked this...hardly anyone got sick. 
-Lord...bless this kitchen...and those who labor in it. 
-I love a man with dishpan hands! 
-Make yourself at home; clean my kitchen! 
-A man is, in general, better pleased when he has a good dinner on his table than when his wife talks Greek. (Samuel Johnson) 
-The meal's complete when the kitchen's neat! 
-A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious. 
-A messy kitchen is a sign of a good meal. 
-Mom's Cafe. Open 24 hours! 
-The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. (Calvin Trillin) 
-My Family Eats From The 3 Basic Food Groups - Canned, Take Out and Microwaveable 
-My husband and I share work in the kitchen 50-50. I cook and he eats. 
-My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines. 
-Need some time to be alone? Try washing the dishes! 
-No matter where I serve my guests,
they seem to like my kitchen best! 
-Nothin' says lovin' like fresh pie from the oven. 
-Nothing gets me in the mood like a man doing the dishes. 
-The only reason I have a kitchen is that it came with my house! 
-The only self-cleaning thing in this kitchen is the cat! 
-Open the oven, take a look;
first to complain is next week's cook! 
-The preparation of good food is merely another expression of art, one of the joys of civilized living. (Dione Lucas) 
-Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat. 
-REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen. 
-Self cleaning kitchen. Clean up after yourself. Mom's off duty. 
-A stack of dirty dishes is not a sign of a neglected house. It's a sign that the people who live here like to eat. 
-This is a self-cleaning kichen. Clean up after yourself! 
-This kitchen is closed,
it's been a long day.
The dishes are done
so please go away! 
-Today's Menu: Take it or Leave it! 
-The trouble with living alone is that it's always your turn to do the dishes. 
-Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. (Fran Lebowitz) 
-The way to a woman's heart is through the door of a good restaurant. (Elliot Joseph) -Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. 
-When the meal isn't ready, they're under my feet.
When the food's on the table, they're down the street. 
-You can eat off my floor...there are crumbs everywhere! 
-A young husband came home from work and his wife said, "Honey, I'm afraid your dinner is a little burnt tonight."
He said: "Don't tell me they had a fire at McDonald's."

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